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Monday, December 10

Being An MCAT Repeater!







Depressed? Shattered? Or might have faced defeat for the first time in your life? This is what conveniently explains that you are an entry test effectee. Or probably, going to be a repeater for an entire year. Now, as you have decided to spend your next year with this label, let me give you a tip. Never feel like a repeater, just never! Because it will make things turning out worse for you. ‘’Each day is a new one’’, don’t dare to take this proverb for granted; if you want to spend your next year peacefully, trust me. I have repeated twice, yes TWICE! But now I’m in SIMS. Yes, wahi central AC wala SIMS :-P


Okay let me share my last three years with you which were truly nasty yet amazing. Actually the second opinion is what I have realized recently. So, without any more delay, I tell you that in my very childhood, I was taught by my parents that if anyone asks me ‘’baray ho k kya ban’na hai?’’ I’m supposed to say ‘’main doctor banu gi’’. However, I never thought about it really. Resultantly, I was an average student till my matriculation board exams. In point of fact, it was more like I had never taken life seriously before that and to tell the truth, I am really glad to have this part because I think I have enjoyed my life to its fullest till my matriculation. It does not mean I am advising you to follow me. Your parents might screw me for this :-P

Anyway, board exams approached and somehow I started studying day and night, completed my course and surprised everyone with my brilliant marks. Last part was actually so enjoyable. I got into LCWU for my intermediate and joined our beloved KIPS which was actually the turning point of my life. I had so much competition around me, honestly, I felt like most dull and idiotic person who had no goals to focus at. I actually thought about it one night and decided, I was going to stand out and so I did. Two years passed in no time and I had managed to make my way to 2nd year annuals. Everyone had high hopes about me as I had done great in matric and first intermediate year. Theory went well and practical exams came up. Meantime, I started preparing for MCAT. I know it seems the scariest part but trust me, horror is yet to come. You know UHS, don’t you? Our dearest university which can never go easy on students, announced that MCAT paper will be held on 20th July, right after twenty days, my practical exams end up. I mean honestly, twenty days for cramming more than six books? :O  I felt like quitting at the very moment, I came across the news flash. But, reality is reality, and we are forced to face it anyway, no matter if we are ready or not. So, the result of this mess was I got panicked and failed. Yes, I failed! Being a topper of your class, how it feels like failing in MCAT, you can never understand, or maybe you do, whatever! I was just broken. It felt like it was end of my life. You may feel same but let me tell you, it’s NOT. See, I am still alive with a damn good life, cherishing each moment of my holidays and waiting for my medical class to start  :-) 


Getting back to the story, it took me few days to come out of the shock of failure and I stood up again. I thought about options, like doing CA, quitting medical line, getting into any other professional streak but they seemed too lame, to me, to even think about. I just wanted to be a doctor. Nothing else! So, I became a repeater. A depressed, shattered repeater, waiting for some miracle to happen. But, again, it was real life, not a fairy tale. After a few months, F.sc result came like a draught of cool breeze in that blazing phase of my life and I got 980 which were undoubtedly brilliant marks. Now, don’t think I’m boasting off, I am not really in position to do so. These marks gave me some push-up and I regained a bit of my lost confidence. However, somehow, I never felt I had brilliant marks in F.sc. Probably I was being too pessimistic to consider any positive thing which, fortunately, happened to exist in my life at that time. I think yes, it can be the only reason of being extremely insensitive to my abilities. But I guess it does happen when you face sudden disappointment of your hopes. After all, it isn’t tranquil to see the castles of your dreams getting smashed in front of you. You feel helpless, just too helpless. Anyway, coming back to the story again, all the mess I was having in my life ended up in ruining my already not-so-good health. I had frequent emotional outbursts and lots of crying, without no apparent reason. I just felt alone. My friends had moved and my life was stagnant, devastated, and ruined. You might feel I was being over-sensitive but trust me, it does happen when you lose faith in yourself. But why am I telling you all this? I don’t need an emotional drainage now. The sole purpose of making you bored with my story is to make you realize that depression never makes things better. If it ever did, I would have topped in my next MCAT, but I failed. Yes, again! Now, you might be thinking that I was lucky enough to make in board exams but in reality I was an idiotic person who could not even pass an MCAT paper for the second time. Let me tell you, our dear UHS is a lot more horrible than we think it is. It just changed the pattern and pooled the test for A-levels and F.sc which always happened to be separate. We were given a syllabus sort of thing with some recommended books and asked not to join any academy at all. Now this is what we call confusion. Students were so befuddled and uncertain about the kind of test they were going to face. And those scary recommended books. It was just mess. Or probably, I took it on my nerves. Whatever it was, it was bad, just BAD. Now the question is, how did I handle it? I bought a recommended book for each subject and started with new passion. I was like ‘’patak patak k sir, gira dy knowledge ki diwaar, ratta maar’’ . :-P

Well, I had information. I used to answer every odd question, my teacher ever asked me in the class and he always said, you deserved it last time, but you will get it this time for sure. Sadly, he was wrong for the first time ever I failed because I had ignored F.sc and the paper I faced was whole F.sc based. There were so bookish lines stuffed in the form of MCQs, and all this resulted in my damn failure for second time. Can you believe it? A girl with 980 in F.sc failing in MCAT twice? I don’t know if you can, but it happened. Now, I don’t think I need to explain my condition again. You have already read my miserable story and I would never like you shutting this post just because of my boring story for another time. Just make everything twice or probably thrice, I am not sure. Actually, the difficult decision was what to do now? I don’t think a sensible person would think about MBBS again after all this mess, but I have a strong feeling that I am not sensible. I am proud of it anyway :-P
So, point is that I thought of not giving up on my dreams. Why should I? Dreams are not always for being broken. Yes, if you think that going to any other field and becoming successful man one day, will make you forget about your broken dreams, I do controvert. If you don’t try at all, you will regret. So, never quit. And this is what I did. I joined Punjab University’s pharmacy department just for a side option. I was not ready to risk another year after all. I joined it but never owned it. Yes, I was being an idiot, but who cares? I had my dreams to follow and they were just enough for me. I bothered going university for hardly two to three days a week because I was just too lazy to leave my bed in the morning. Thanks to my friends for managing so many proxies for me :-PWell, all I waited for was MCAT session. But let me tell you one thing, I never studied F.sc crap for whole year until I joined academy in my prep leaves. I risked everything, another year of pharmacy just for MBBS. OMG, how daring of me :D
But there was a difference this time. I wasn’t confused, nor depressed. I was just determined and so sure that I can get through this and that is what happened. In spite of so many hurdles in my way, I did it. I did pass MCAT after two years. Honestly, I studied for twenty days because of my damn typhoid in the month of July. However, I made through it, and this is all what matters. Achievement, isn’t it? Well, my friends and teachers do say it is an achievement. But I think it is what was determined to happen. And what Allah always wanted for me. Now, at this very moment, while sharing my story with you, I feel it was so unwise of me to cry and get depressed. These things never help. We have to face reality and we have to get up on every fall. Because defeat is temporary and giving up is what makes it permanent. Always remember, there is a bunch of positive things around us even in darkest time of our lives, but we make ourselves so busy in complaining over negativity and ruin our peace of mind. I had so many positive things in last two years. Yes, I had. But they will need an entire post to get wrapped up and this one is already long enough to make you lose your interest. So, wait for next one :D and last but not the least of course, be proud of yourself being a repeater as you are a warrior, not a quitter.


Written by Hira Shaheen ....

42 comments:

  1. Awesomely written Hira. I'm really impressed by your determination. The success you get after a series of misfortunes is indeed the sweetest. Your writing shows the same. Best of luck :-)

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  2. excellent work and excellent article. desperately waiting for more of yours.

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  3. ''A man can get every thing if he is determined to it by sticking to it long enough and hard enough''......
    dear sister you have proved it....
    i am really inspired with your story...
    being a repeater,you are ideal for me..
    thanks for writing this

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  4. Thanks all of you :)

    I'll do try to write more in future :)

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  5. OMG!loved it the way you wrote :)
    commendable hira...
    b/w loved this line: ‘’patak patak k sir, gira dy knowledge ki diwaar, ratta maar’’ :P
    impressed by your determination gal cz everyone does not have such.
    what I must say "Think to make your life positive" !
    cheers :)

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  6. its damnnn guddd.........
    i know...what"being an mcat repeater' is all about....it wax soo hard yet the best part of ma life...fighting everyday 4 ur survival....watching disappointment 4 ur future in the world's eyes and telling urself....
    "Aisee ki tessi dunia ki..m gonna rock';)

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  7. i am also a repeater so i can realize all this stuff but my story has some other dab twists in it but still your writing is really effective and adorable ;)

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  8. awesome ....now i also have the same determination ....

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  9. U've put it in nice n apprciable way :)
    Actually im a student of fsc n want to give mcat this year. I wasn't able to do well in first year (did well in matric though). Can u give me any sort of suggestion or advice to accomplish my major goal?.
    Will be really thankful to u for this favour.

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  10. I'm seriously depressed since I've been within last merit but I didn't opt for all the colleges, and merit increased unexpectedly 2%. Now I don't know what to do.I'm a repeater but idk how'd I get such a high agg this time.

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  11. Okay yar you got 980 marks.. what about tohse who dont even have 880..

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  12. great inspirational story 4 juniors!!!

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  13. Qualifying any entrance test is a very tricky job. If the student gets that trick no one can stop him but studying hard and not using tricks take you nowhere!!! So have a plan use the trick and study a little is the key to success!! Thanks for sharing...

    http://goo.gl/XsQxXv

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  14. Muhammad Fahad Chughtai4 November 2013 at 17:16

    I am actually facing exactly the same circumstances in my life the only difference is i am an engineering student........very much helpful for me ....Thanks...really appreciate that....

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  15. mera bhai.. :D i got 828, :D or ab agle saal do do cheze tyar krni he, hard work needed, koshish krng k full mehnat krn :)

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  16. very inspirational story hira especially 4 the studnts like me....i have 930 mrks in fsc 835 in mcat in first attmpt.i thought no need ov repeatng subjct gave mcat again got 940 and agg is 85.35...merit is 85.8.depressed..doing again...should i study just syllabus or full books? and ths time its more difficult to study those books..it seems m studnyng them 4 fst time..

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  17. have u got admission ths year/

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  18. plz do guide me...

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  19. any one to guide me

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  20. right now start with the full books, once u prepare the whole text follow the syllabus after that. it will help in case if there is some change in the syllabus.
    Work harder this time.

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  21. Shiza you can contact me on facebook for any sort of help. Here is my ID: https://www.facebook.com/hira.shaheen

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  22. SORRY hira i dont have any fb ID but a gmail one

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  23. how many hours should i study per day?

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  24. Are you going to any academy ?

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  25. abi join nahi ki...i have decided to do with books by my own. wanna repeat syllabus 4 maximum times. In june,I.A i will join..!

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  26. You can email me at abstruseleo@gmail.com
    We can have detailed convo there.

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  27. thank you so much hira... it was very inspiring... i m also a repeater i mean a warrior according to you :) but ab pta nhn kya ho gya ha mjy... i have fully determined to be doc... but during these days my dream my determination has gone somewhere!!! and i have one confusion between full books and syllabus.... :(

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  28. right now go with full books, later on when syllabus is announced skip the extra part

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  29. A very inspiring story :-) thnku I hope I can follow your determination and attitude and accomplishe my goals

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  30. xeeshan farooq25 July 2014 at 23:14

    hy hira its good to read the story exactly like mine. just wanna ssk u that was there any deduction of marks ,%ages or aggregate in your 2nd n 3rd attempt. please reply or mail me at xee.farooq2@gmail.com. awaiting

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  31. hi hira !!
    i gave mcat 2014 but i couldnot qualify that . I got 936 in matric and 947 in fsc . I m do much depressed :( . I decided to take a gap year and improve my 2nd year score as i got 494 in part 1 but i couldn't do well in my 2nd year . Is it a right decision ? will it bear fruit ?

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  32. i also gave mcat 2014 but couldnt qualify...and it was all because of my depression nd loss of confidence in my abilities..actually i was expecting 950 marks in fsc but i got 906..yup too less than my expectations...so i totally gave up..i screwed it up..i just thought i couldnt do this..i thought its of no use to study because i am not going to get throught it..but yh approach boht ghalat thi nd after giving the test mujhy feel hwa k saara gand mn ny khud ghola..i shouldn't have done this...but now i am repeating physics 1 and 2 and inshallah this year i am determined..dar lagta hy nd sometimes i think k main kese karun gi..but my mom alwayz says k agr koi bara kaam krna hy to yh nhi sochna k kese karun gi yh sochna hy k main ny krna hy...so i'll advice u k dont loose hope in urself be confident..nd dont go to repeat whole second year..just choose some subjects about which ur confident that u can improve alot..like physics..

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  33. The fsc result isn't out yet. What are you guys talking about then? I got 959 in mcat last year but this time (although I prepared very hard) I got 941 in mcat and again, I will lose my admission this year just by one point. So, you better be prepared to take the risk. If you have any query, you can ask me.

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  34. assalam o alaikum... actually mere sath b yai problem hui hai... me b 3rd time mcat dene ka socha rai hun.. par mje aik bat confuse kar rai hai k kya 2% aggregate me se deduct hon ge ya nai....plz help me agar kisi ko pata hai.....

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  35. Asalam-o-alikum.
    It really gave me some spirit...
    Although its my first attempt of MCAT I got 899 marks and 873 in fsc. I was so much tensed what to do right... I couldn't decide... believe me I cried a lot.....
    I am going to repeat my first year fsc. And then Mcat.. and I think I should join d pharm as a side option too... if some one could tell is it right?

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  36. hi samina ... me bhi aisi hi situation se guzr rai hn.... and i thhk agar aap ne imprv karne ka socha hai to ap sirf isi baat pe focus rakhain... do kaam aik saath karen gi to kuch b hasil nai ho ga... lekin agar aap sirf mcat repeat karna chahti hn to saath me zaroor khn aur uni me bhi apply karen.... that is what iam planning to do.... and after all mbbs is'tn the only field on earth ! hm aur bhi bht kch kar sakte hain.....

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  38. Safwat Shabbir6 May 2015 at 18:32

    Really Motivating
    How i started as a 70% securing student from Matric Part 1(9 th) progressively to 87% in Fsc but Mcat ;( ! made me realize that Years are not IMpaortant BUt thE Goal is
    and NOw Its a Fight as A repeater With UHS :)

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